In the wake of War
by KPT
Summary: Two years after the Promised Day, the people of Xing are massacred and Amestris is blamed.
1. Declaration of War

**Disclaimer:** Am I Hiromu Arakawa? If I was, I wouldn't be on this sight. I'd be filthy stinkin' rich.

**Summary:** Two years after the Promised Day, Ed is sent to war against Xing. He knows something's not right. So the question is asked: "What evil force possessed Ling to wage war?"

**Thanks to iNatix, I have been threatened and forcefully dragged into rewriting this story. Kidding, I was encouraged to. So I did. (Thankyou iNatix!) I've done many revisions and added alot more detail, hopefully making the enjoyment level go up. Well, enjoy :D**

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><p>"Edward, why exactly are we here again?" Winry sighed, staring exasperatedly at his back as he walked ahead.<p>

She couldn't help but smile, as his now-flesh right hand peeked out of the sleeve of his brown trench coat. It had been exactly two years since the end of the Promised Day, and Edward and Alphonse were mostly accustomed to their new bodies. Sure Edward's right arm was significantly weaker than his left, and Alphonse still had bones poking out here and there, but it didn't matter anymore. They were human again. They could be happy. Winry quickened her pace to walk beside him.

"I'm just getting my old belongings, Winry. Nothing more." Ed explained.

"Couldn't you have just gotten Brigadier General Mustang to send them?"

He closed his eyes, furrowing his brown as though annoyed. "Believe me, I would. But knowin' his lazy ass, I would never get those things back."

"Oh come on. Now you know that's not true."

Edward scoffed, lengthening his strides. Winry rolled her eyes at him.

They reached the entrance of Central HQ, and Ed paused by the gate, a small smile playing on his face.

"So it's finally coming together again, huh?"

The building, the same one that was blown to mostly ashes and rubble two years ago, was now beginning to resemble it's old self once more. There were still some places in the wall not plastered in, and small patches of grass were bare and growing in, but aside from that, it stood strong and tall.

Edward and Winry walked across the stone-paved walkway, and were greeted by guards.

"Good morning Mr. Edward Elric, sir!" they shouted, right hands up to their foreheads in salute.

Ed raised his hands up defensively. "Guys no need. I'm not a soldier anymore, remember? You can stop treating me so formally now."

The two men clicked their heels, hands still raised, shouting "Yes Mr. Elric, sir!"

Edward chuckled to himself, walking into the doorway and signaling Winry with his hand to follow. More, less formal, greetings were given to the two; hand shakes for Ed and a tip of the hat to Winry. They reached the stairs, and Winry pulled Edward close, whispering quietly while glancing back to the people.

"Were you always treated like this? Even when you were a State-Alchemist?"

"Yeah, pretty much." he replied ordinarily. She looked up at him surprised, still latched onto his arm.

"Wow, didn't know you were such a big-shot."

Ed smirked "Weelll, you know how things go. Kinda hard not to notice and respect someone so great as me."

She lifted her hand, dropping it on top of his head. "Right. You keep thinking that, shorty."

He shot her a scowl. "Hey, I'm taller than you, you know!"

"Did I say you weren't? No. I was just saying you're still short." she retorted, never leaving her contact with his bright golden hair.

He opened his mouth, ready to retaliate, but he was interrupted by Winry pulling his arm towards a large brown door.

"There it is. Now get in there, gather your stuff, and let's go. My back is hurting from the train ride." she groaned, rubbing her lower back for emphasis.

"Yeah yeah," he sighed, opening the door without knocking.

He stepped in grimly, floods of nostalgia rushing back to him. Papers were strewn all around and on the desks, and a disordered couch was seated in the middle. The shelves were unorganized and books were sticking out every which way. On Roy's desk, he had more papers cluttered in a pile. The only sensical thing in the room was the desk adjacent to the General's; most likely belonging to Riza Hawkeye. Roy was seated at his desk, lazily moving his hand and signing the papers without paying attention to the content. His deep onyx eyes drooped lethargically, and he had dark circles lining his bottom lids. Edward frowned. Everything was the same as always.

"Hey, Colonel Bastard." Ed greeted, stepping further into the room.

"It's Brigadier General to you." Roy corrected, not bothering to look up.

"Ok then…Brigadier General Bastard." Ed complied. Winry elbowed him in the side, her obvious disapproval of the rude title he had given.

Roy groggily stood, pacing over to Ed and placing a large gloved hand atop his head.

"Guess some things never change. You're still as short as ever, Fullmetal."

Edward knocked his wrist away. "Get off. I'm taller now. And what's with the 'Fullmetal'? I'm not part of the military anymore, remember?"

"Just a force of habit. A nickname, if you will. Unless you want me to start calling you 'shrimp' from now on. I'm perfectly fine with either one." Roy said, that signature smirk forming on his lips.

God, he hated that smirk.

"Don't even try." Ed frowned. Inwardly he smiled to himself. Secretly he had worried that he and the General wouldn't be able to speak the same after he resigned his title as 'Fullmetal'. Their usual bickering felt kind of...

...nice.

"Well, what are you here for, anyway? Weren't you gonna' travel East or something?" Roy asked, turning to walk back to his desk.

"My stuff? Don't tell me you forgot." Roy paused his steps in recollection, but continued on saying

"Oh yes. I was going to get to those soon." He sat back down.

"Right." Ed said dubiously. "Just give them to me and I'll be out of your way."

"They're over there by the cabinets. Hawkeye filed and organized everything for you." Roy pointed to the direction with his pen.

Ed bent down to the boxes, shuffling through the content. "Wow, she really did. Give her my thanks, kay?" he said, smiling at how easy it was to go through.

Suddenly the door swung open, and Winry squeaked in surprise. A soldier, with short brown hair and a lanky build, staggered in, panting and out of breath.

"What do you need, soldier?" Roy asked once the man had caught his breath.

"Brigadier General, sir. We just received a letter of War Declaration."

Roy stood, surprise eminent on his dark features. "War Declaration? From who?"

"Xing, sir." the soldier replied.

That got Ed's attention. He tried quickly to stand from his crouched position, but his foot snagged on the corner of his long coat. He fell forward, his face smacking into the ground.

"Xing?" he yelled, his voice muffled by the carpet.

The soldier stared confused at Edward for a few seconds before replying, "Yes. Apparently Emperor Ling Yao claims a raid of Amestrian men came and killed their people."

"What does the Fuhrer have to say about this?" Roy questioned.

"He says we need to prepare for battle as soon as possible." the soldier replied. "But…we don't have enough men for battle. Despite how far in it is, we are still suffering from our losses from the Promised Day, sir."

"What?" Roy yelled.

All eyes turned to him, as if waiting for further directions.

"Damn it!" Roy yelled finally, lifting his hands to smack them down on the desk. Slowly he lifted his head, eyeing Edward.

"W-what?" Ed asked.

"I didn't want to have to do this…" Roy sighed. "Edward, do you think you can stand in for some soldiers?"

Winry let out a soft gasp, and Ed stood wide-eyed, struggling in his brain to process and come up with a response. "B-but, I can't perform alchemy anymore." he sputtered.

"That doesn't matter. Can you handle a gun?"

Ed was silent for a few seconds. A gun. Edward had hoped he would never, for as long as he lived, have to use a gun. Ever. It was an object of distruction. An object of violence. Of murder. But what else could he do?

"Y-yeeah….I guess." he answered finally.

Winry's eyes reamed, looking up at Ed incredulously. Roy sighed in half relief.

"That's all I need to hear. Soldier, you're dismissed. Call in Colonel Hawkeye for me." he called, turning to the soldier.

The solider raised his meager hand saluting "Yes sir!" and left.

"Sorry for the late notice. Guess you're going to be Fullmetal again, huh?" Roy said, turning to face Edward.

"I won't be a state alchemist."

"I guess that's true." Roy answered, chuckling to himself.

Riza Hawkeye stepped into the room moments later, hand raised up to her forehead. "Yes, sir?"

"Colonel, I need you to get a uniform, a gun, and holster for Edward. He'll need it for battle. Size extra-extra small, if you can."

"Hey hey hey!" Edward yelled, flailing his arms. "Just a small will do..." he quietly admitted, puffing his cheeks out stubbornly.

"Sir." Riza nodded, striding out the door to fetch what was ordered. She returned minutes later, handing the blue cloth, shoes, gun, and holster to Ed.

"Fullmetal, we depart in two days. Over the course of these two days, Colonel Hawkeye will train you in the basics of using a gun. We'll meet up in Youswell when the time comes to cross the desert to Xing." Roy ordered as Ed examined the uniform in his hands.

Roy saw a little bit of overwhelmed emotions in Edward's eyes. He couldn't blame the boy. It's not like he expected to be called out to war the day he was making his retirement final.

"'Kay, see you then." Ed called, folding the uniform messily and leaving the room with Winry at his heels.

Roy sighed, plopping down into his leather desk chair. Riza placed a comforting hand on his shoulders. "I know, sir. I'm sorry." He chuckled. She always knew just what he was thinking.

Neither him nor Riza thought this was right. For the past six years that Ed had been in the State, both of them had tried their hardest to make sure the boy had nothing to do with war. And now that he was finally leaving, Roy had to pull him right back in. Neither of them wanted Ed to go. But they needed him.

Meanwhile outside the building, Edward was struggling to catch up to Winry, who took long, angry strides.

"Winry, wait up!"

She stopped in her tracks, swiveling on her heels to glare into his eyes. "What the hell, Ed? Why did you say yes?"

He stared, confused, into her eyes for a few moments, gathering up what she meant. "Because, Winry, they need me."

"Well they could've just gotten someone else!" she snapped back.

Edward sighed. "Whether they could have or not, I still would've said yes. I needa' ask that damn squinty eyes himself; what he's thinking plunging into war." he explained, scratching his head.

"Whatever." Winry spouted, turning to walk away from him.

Ed scratched his chin in thought. Emperor Ling? That couldn't be right. Ling was on good terms with Amestris. After the Promised Day had passed, the two countries had a well-established trading system and had formed an alliance. He couldn't have irrationally called war, could he? But then again, there was the problem with the blame of Amestrian soldiers launching an attack. That couldn't have possibly happened.

Ed looked up, seeing that Winry had put a great deal of distance between them. He ran after her.

"Winry, wait! Are you mad at me?"

"No, Ed. I'm not. Just leave me alone, okay?" she responded, animosity lining her voice as she continued walking.

"Huh? But-"

"_Shut it_, Ed."

Edward stopped and pouted his lips. Wasn't mad? Yeah right. He had known her long enough to know when she was angry at him. But really, she had every right to be mad. He would be pissed as hell too, if he were in her position. But didn't she understand that they needed him?

He followed after her, making sure to keep a good distance of two meters behind her._ Just two more days_, he thought.

_Just two more days…_

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><p><strong>Heehee...kay, I finished the revisions of Chapter One! Hope you enjoyed! Rate and Review Pwease!<strong>_  
><em>


	2. I promise

Two days had passed since then.

Edward now knew how to quickly whip out his gun from the holster, engage it, the proper ways to shoot, and how to reload. Riza was a very good teacher; understanding, patient, and well with her words. He thought he had done pretty well with her these couple of days. But the same didn't apply back at home in the Rockbell house.

Every time Edward would try to speak to Winry, she would either ignore him completely, or bitterly tell him to "leave her alone". Ed had even tried to get input from Granny Pinako on how to apologize to Winry. Of course, he had been yelled at for "how much of an idiot he is". Apparently Pinako was mad too.

The night before he was to leave, Ed had called Alphonse to tell him about joining the war and Winry, and to ask how things were doing on his side in Xing. Al had told him that the people were scared, saying the Emperor wasn't the same as before.

_"Did you talk to Ling yourself?" Ed asked._

_"No. Since about three weeks ago, no one besides authorized personnel have been allowed to speak to the Emperor. Sorry, Brother." _

_"No, it's alright. Didn't think you would." A short silence stretched between the two, before Al said _

_"Well, I have to go now. I've finished my work here in Xing so I'm off to the next country over. Stay safe, Brother." _

_"Thanks Al, you too." Edward was about to hang up, before he heard Al's voice speak through. _

_"Oh, and about that thing with Winry. Just tell her how you feel. She'll understand. But be careful what you say. You can be kind of an idiot sometimes when it comes to things like this." _

_"Thanks a ton, Al." Ed scoffed sarcastically. _

_"Don't mention it. Bye." _

_Ed placed the phone down in the receiver, crawling into bed_.

Before he knew it, it was time to head out to the train station. Pinako had told Winry to accompany him there, and Winry complied begrudgingly.

The walk was agonizingly silent. Ed couldn't take this much more. He hated fighting with Winry. He had never said so before, but he loved her. He hated how he always seemed to hurt her. Their fights usually resulted in crying. He hated to see her cry. He didn't want to leave anymore than she did. Edward walked on, sweat dripping from his forehead, and Winry had a scowl on her face as she absently kicked a rock forward.

"W-Winry?" Ed said, trying to break the tension between them.

"What, Ed?"

Edward gulped, tightening his grip on his suitcase before squeaking out quietly, "…I'm sorry."

Winry halted in her spot and Ed stopped after her. She had her eyes on the ground, not looking up at him. He stepped in front of her, bending his head down to try and see her face. "Winry? You oka-"

He flew back as Winry had quickly bent down and threw a rock at him, not having her wrench in hand. He fell to the ground with an ungraceful thud.

"W-w-what the hell, Winry?" he sputtered, holding his hand against the growing bruise on his forehead.

"Sorry? That's all you have to say? You finally got your and Al's bodies back! You can live a normal life now! But you decide to leave again to fight in a war! And all you can say is sorry?" Winry panted, her eyes glassing over.

Ed's expression dropped. Oh no. Not this. He stood up, patting the dirt off his brown slacks.

"Winry…"

"Don't even, Ed! I can't believe you! You promised you wouldn't leave me again! You said everything was over!"

He took a step forward and wrapped his arms around her waist. She tried to get out of his grip, but he held on tighter. "Don't cry, Win. I'm sorry. But they need me." he reasoned.

"But…but you could die!" she cried, tears finally rolling down her cheeks.

Ed lifted her face to look at him. "Hey, don't say that. I'm Edward Elric, remember? The Fullmetal Alchemist. How many times have I been knocked down? I always get back on my feet, don't I? This time won't be any different." he said softly, wiping a fallen tear from her face.

"You don't know that. That's exactly what Mom and Dad said before they left. They told me to wait for them. So I waited and waited. But they never came back, Ed! They were killed! Taken away from me and I didn't even get to have a say in it!"

He sighed. So that's what she was so scared about. He lifted his hand and stroked her hair, loving the feel of the silky blond strands flowing between his fingers.

"I know, Winry. I know. But you'll just have to trust me. Trust me that I'll come back to you alive."

She hugged him tighter, fingers digging into his shirt. Edward whispered into her hair.

"I'll come back to you, Win. I promise."

"Okay."

He lifted her head and wiped her stray tears. "Now stop crying already. You're making me feel like a jack-ass." he joked, feeling his stomach tighten when she smiled with tears still in her eyes.

They arrived at the station not too long after. Edward stepped off the platform and onto the train. He turned to look back at her. Winry pulled her face into what she seemed was a smile, and she waved. He waved back, his heart beating much faster than normal, then turned, the door closing after him.

The engine began running, and soon the train was in motion. Edward found a seat and sat down. He looked out the window, seeing Winry's retreating form still smiling on the stone-paved platform. He smiled, then looked to the empty seat in front of him. _Ah. This brings back memories_, he thought. He looked up and imagined a big suit of armor talking to him. He chuckled to himself, before closing his eyes to sleep.

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><p>Ed stepped off the train onto the concrete platform, and the train whistled its goodbye as it rolled off once more. He looked around, picking up his suitcase.<p>

Youswell.

There were more people here now that he took a look. The place he first entered as a broken down poor mining town, had grown into a large commercial city. Ed smiled to himself. _They got along pretty well._

"Fullmetal!"

Ed turned in the direction of the voice. Brigadier General Roy Mustang stepped forward, his arms crossed and brows scrunched together in a frown.

"What do you think you're wearing? Do you really expect to go into combat with that?" he said, motioning to the white button down, brown slacks, and brown trench coat he wore. "Put on your uniform. We don't have much time before the Xingese make their way across the desert." Roy said.

"Okay okay." Edward replied, angry to be given orders when he had just arrived.

He pulled out his uniform from his suitcase and entered the nearest bathroom. He stepped out minutes later with his crisp sapphire jacket hanging loosely from his shoulders. His pants were a little too baggy and were slipping slightly from his waist. The only thing that seemed to fit were the white nylon gloves and black leather boots. Roy looked at him and stifled a laugh behind his hand.

"Told you we needed extra-extra small."

Edward shot back a scowl. "Shut up! You people are just too big and fat, that's all" He said, wiggling his hips and holding the hem of his pants to keep them from falling.

Roy took a step forward. "Here." he slipped a black belt through the given straps.

"I can do it myself." Ed scoffed, grabbing the belt from the General's hands and slipping it the rest of the way. "Thanks." he said quietly after seeing that his pants no longer fell down.

Mustang turned and started walking, Ed following behind. They reached the outskirts of town. Ed could spot the flashes of the blue uniforms as far as the eye could see. Roy raised his hand to his mouth calling out,

"Alright troops!"

All heads shot up to the source of the voice and quickly they scattered to form a line in front of the two men. From the group of them, Ed could point out Kain Fuery, Jean Havoc, Heymans Breda, and Alex Louis Armstrong. They all looked at him and grinned. Ed returned the smile, happy to be reunited with old familiar faces.

"Sir, your gun." Riza called out, walking toward them.

She handed Roy a holster with said gun inside, and he strapped it to his waist. Roy called out"Okay, men! As you know, we are about to depart across the desert to face the people of Xing! Over the past two years, their military strength has increased greatly, and they have added Xingese alkahestry users to their men. So far, we are equal in strength with them. But we are Amestrian Soldiers! We went through hell this past decade! This small battle is no different!"

They all had agreeing determination in their eyes.

"Now men! Are you ready to win this?" "Sir, yes sir!" they called out, hands brought to their foreheads in salute. "March out!" the men turned toward the desert and began the walk.

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><p>Edward's mouth hung open, panting like a dog trying to cool itself down.<p>

The heat had gotten significantly higher over the past six hours, and Ed's bangs clung to his face with sweat. His boots refused to hold him up in the soft loamy sand; they were obviously not designed for terrain like this. The cloth of his sapphire jacket was no longer crisp, clinging to his body uncomfortably with moisture. His hands were sweaty, and he could barely move his sticky fingers within the cloth. He looked around him at the other men.

Sure, some of them were sweaty and tired, but only Ed was the one that looked the worse out of all of them, drenched in sweat and dragging his feet through the grainy sand. How did these guys wear these things all day? Edward tugged at his collar and shook his body, trying to relieve himself of the sticky gross feeling. It didn't work.

"Hey there, chief." Havoc said, lightly smacking Ed on the back. "Haven't seen you in a while. Nice to see you."

"Yeah. Same. Get a girlfriend yet?" Ed asked jokingly. Havoc clenched his fists

"No! Stupid bastard. Roy already has a girlfriend, yet he's still stealing all the ladies!"

Ed turned his head to Havoc, surprised at what he had just said. "What? Who?" _Who the hell would wanna be stuck with that annoying bastard?_

"Colonel Hawkeye, haven't you heard? He confessed his love to her six months ago and they've been goin' out since."

Edward turned stiffly to look at Roy and Riza behind them. Now that he mentioned it, they did seem rather close. Roy had his face toward Riza, talking to her as she listened with her same stoic expression. Their steps were the same, mirroring each other like being on the same wavelength. Suddenly Roy said something and Riza cracked a smile. She rested her hand on his arm, and he grabbed it, squeezing it tightly in his. Edward turned around swiftly, wishing he had not just seen the Colonel and General flirting.

"See it now?" Havoc asked.

Ed nodded in return. "But I don't get it," he began. "How can the Colonel stand being around that bastard all the time? I mean, I understand talking to him, but then she's actually making _physical contact_! That's disgusting!"

Havoc chuckled at Edward's use of 'disgusting'. He raised his head, closing his eyes.

"Love's a funny thing, chief. Something that can't be explained. I'm sure you've got someone like that in your life that you don't know why, but you want to be with them every second of the day. Like that one girl. The mechanic. What's her name, Winry was it?"

Edward's cheeks flushed pink, and Havoc could tell that it wasn't from the heat.

"I'll take that as a yes." he chuckled, walking ahead to meet with Breda.

_ Winry._

Ed raised his head, looking into the blue cloudless sky. God, he missed her already. It had only been a couple of hours, but he wanted to see her again. Would she wait for him? He wouldn't blame her if she didn't. She had waited enough these past six years.

Edward shook his head, ridding himself of the thought of seeing her with another man.

No. He would get back to her. After this war he had thrown himself into. He promised.

And Edward Elric never broke promises.

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><p><em>Ling Yao blearily opened his eyes that morning, faintly hearing the screams outside his window. He tiredly got up from the comfort of his bed, stumbling over and kicking aside his blankets that tangled on around his feet. When he looked out the window, he froze. <em>

_The people of Xing, his people, were being murdered before his eyes. Men in starch blue uniform were shooting everyone, bombing houses. Women, children, they spared no one. _

_"Stop!" Ling tried to yell, but his voice was caught in his throat. Nothing came out._

_ "Stop! Stop!" there was no sound, beside that of gunshots and screams. _

_Suddenly, his bedroom door flung open. Two men, their sapphire uniform's stained with red, walked in, holding a hostage. Her mouth was gagged and her left automail arm, removed despairingly from her body. Ling's eye's widened. _

_Lan Fan._

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><p><strong>Blahhh I think maybe this one dragged out a bit. Oh well. Please Rate and Review! Veerrryy much appreciated! :D<strong>


	3. Down the Barrel of a Gun

**A/N: {[Please excuse my inability to write good violence and gore scenes. XD]}**

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><p>Nightfall had just begun to set in, and along with it, numbing coldness.<p>

The troops had stopped their march prior to and had begun to set up camp; Roy would have normally ordered to find some kind of brush to conceal their location, but seeing as they were in a desert, that idea was dropped. Some were setting up the tents, some were getting out the food, and others were testing their luck with a fire.

Ed wrapped his arms around himself as he shivered, trying to shield himself from the cold breeze. Despite how hot it was before, and how furious he rubbed his palms on his arms, he just could not warm up. He was beginning to get irritated. His sweat from earlier that day was starting to freeze over, and his uniform that had once started out crisp then moist, was now beginning to stiffen uncomfortably against his body. Just another reason to add to the list of why Edward hated the desert.

He suddenly stiffined, his face contorting in pre-sneeze.

"A…ah….ACHOO!" Ed sniffed, wiping his nose along his sleeve.

"You okay there kid?" Breda asked, lifting his head from his work.

"Yeah. Just freezing my ass off, that's all. No big deal, really." Ed sarcastically responded.

"Oh Edward! If it is warmth you seek, it is warmth I shall give you! Come, boy! I'll protect you from nature's fury!" Armstrong stepped forward, his shirt magically dissolving from his body, exposing his over-toned pecks and biceps.

"N-no thank you, Major. I 'm goo-!" Edward tried to reason, his hands flailing in front of him to try and stop the inevitable. But he was abruptly interrupted by the Major's strong arms pressing him to his chest.

"Nonsense, Edward! Children need the guidance and protection of adults!"

"M-major! Stop! I cant…..b-breathe!" Edward pushed against the major's biceps, attempting to put some distance between them and struggle to get air in his lungs.

Armstrong continued his deadly hug, spouting nonsense of how he would always be there for Edward if needed. Everyone around them gathered and laughed heartily. Roy suddenly held up his hand.

"SShh….everyone….do you hear that?" All the men quieted and Armstrong loosened his grip, dropping Edward to the ground, who was left gasping for air.

"I don't hear anything, boss." Havoc replied.

"Shhh…. there it is again..."

All eyes began searching around, listening for the noise Roy had assured was there. But all they could see was the blackness and the soft orange hue from the campfires. Ed looked to his left, and in the distance, saw a soft glow.

"Hey…what's that?" he asked, squinting his eyes to get a better look.

Everyone looked in the direction he was pointing at. Soon screams and yells could be heard, and finally gun shots. They're hearts stopped; Xingese Soldiers.

"Men! Get you're weapons! Alchemists! Ready yourselves!" Roy ordered, watching as his men scrambled to gather their belongings.

But it was too late. The soldiers from Xing had arrived, and were shooting at everyone they could. Alkahestry and Alchemy alike were performed, blue lights shooting from every direction. Roy cursed under his breath, swiftly slipping on his nylon gloves and snapping towards the opposing army. Flames were sent flying through the crisp cold air, killing some, and offering a soothing warmth to those not in it's path. Armstrong had placed his iron fists on, smashing them into the ground to send hardened projectiles soaring through the air. Havoc, Breda, and Fuery and quickly scattered to retrieve their rifles and were now hidden behind a stack of wooden crates, loading and engaging them. People without their weapons in hand began fist fighting.

But in that, the Xingese had the advantage. Stealthy movement and strong, lean bodies, they destroyed almost half of the Amestrian fleet. Edward fought with his hands and feet, beating up a few of the enemy. He ran full speed, using the same stealth and agility as the Xingese as he clapped his hands together and ran it across the top of his right arm. He looked down, surprised when he didn't see the familiar blue light and shape-shifting of automail.

Oh right. Real arm now.

Damn, that was a really bad habit he had.

Roy glanced over to him, seeing his fighting. "Fullmetal! Use your gun!"

"No!" Ed shouted back after back kicking a soldier in the head.

"Yes, Fullmetal! Use it now!"

Ed still fought back, refusing to use that weapon of murder. If he didn't need to, he wouldn't.

"What is he thinking?" Roy muttered under his breath, swiftly turning to flame down a couple of Xingese men who rushed after him.

Suddenly, Edward was surrounded by men, swords held in their hands, stained with blood. _I can take 'em out._ Ed thought, smirking to himself. He had fought even worse opponents before. These guys were nothing compared to the homunculi.

He punched, he kicked, he head butted. He was doing good. Edward jumped up, pounding his foot into the last Xingese man who opposed him. He dropped to the ground, clapping his hands in self-victory. "There that should do it."

He heard Havoc scream from one end and turned to help him, but suddenly stopped. A Xingese soldier, blood dripping down a wound in his head, stepped forward, a gun held tightly in his hand.

Ed froze, staring straight into the barrel of the gun, the stomach-twisting feeling he felt as he knew what was to come. Roy saw the boy halt, his eyes widening as he yelled,

"Ed! Now!"

Suddenly everything went blank.

The only thing Ed could remember was grabbing his gun, hearing and feeling the trigger go off, then the soldier before him dropping to the ground. Blood, flesh, and pink brain matter exploded from the wound in his head, some splatting against Edward's face. He could only stare wide eyed, hands shaking. Blood poured onto the sand, turning it into a dark crimson. The soldier had died with his eyes still open, staring deep into Edward's soul.

Ed dropped the gun, falling to his knees as his arms wrapped around his stomach. His shoulders and back convulsed violently, as he retched and heaved, his last meal finally thrown onto the sand. He sat back, crying out and holding his head in fear without bothering to wipe his mouth.

"…stop….Stop…Stop Stop Stop!" He yelled, burying his face between his legs.

Finally, as quick as they came, the Xingese soldiers left, their first attack successful. Dust was thrown in to the air as the rode out, coating the Amestrians with sand and blood.

*_cough cough_* "Is everyone all right?" Roy called out into the air.

Moans and cries were the only response he recieved. The dust cleared as Roy wiped his eyes on the end of his sleeve, getting a better look at his surrounding. Bodies, wounded and dead, were littering the ground. They were everywhere. To his right was a man in blue uniform, his brain boiled to nothing but slosh as it seeped out his eyes and ears. Another man, his arms chopped off and scattered around him, lay to his left. The same, gruesome scene was everywhere he looked. Roy's face dropped. They had lost the first battle of the war.

"Sir!" he heard Riza call out to him.

He staggered toward her, his leg wounded from a stray bullet. She was bent down, a worried look in her eyes as she looked at a seated Edward. _Is he hurt?_ Roy began to panic. He finally reached her side, taking in that she had cuts on her arms and a bullet in her thigh.

"What's wrong? Is he alright?" Roy stopped, hearing Edward's faint voice crying out through the other moans of the men.

"…stop….stop it now….please…"

He bent down, placing a bloodied hand on Ed's trembling shoulder. "Fullmetal."

"…stop…no more…"

"Fullmetal!"

"enough…"

"EDWARD!"

Roy grabbed the collar of his shirt, forcibly raising Ed's head up to look at him. Tears, blood, and what he later noticed was nauseation and chunks of brain matter, dripped freely down the boy's face. He winced slightly at the sight.

"Get a grip, Fullmetal!" Roy yelled, remaining to keep his cool.

"...I….I killed him…" Edward responded, looking down to the dead corpse before him.

His eyes widened in fear, as he pushed Roy away and dropped to his knees, his back writhing as he failed to throw up once more. Riza bent down, trying to quickly brush off whatever pieces of flesh had clung to Ed without him noticing.

"This is war, Edward! Did you really expect to go through with this without having to kill someone first?"

Edward coughed, not bothering to look up from his daze.

"The way you fought today, you're never gonna last! If you can't handle being in the battle field, go home! We don't have time to hold your hand and calm you down every time you get scared!" Roy yelled angrily, burrowing straight into his mind so that he could feel Roy's words in his soul.

Edward looked down at his hands, stained with the blood of the Xingese soldier. "I…I-I…"

"Boss, calm down. It's his first time. You're the one that dragged him into this the first place." Havoc intervened, holding his left arm as blood seeped through his fingers.

"I don't care. If he couldn't handle it, he should have just said something before-hand." Roy scoffed under his breath.

He stood up and turned away, leaving to tend to his wounded soldiers. Riza rubbed Ed's back once more, before she, too, stood up to help anyone injured.

Ed couldn't take it. He had seen blood before, but never in such large quantities. He had always lucidly dreamed that he would forever stay with Alphonse. That he would go through life happy. That he would never have to kill. That dream was traumatizing-ly destroyed tonight. He looked once more to the soldier he had murdered, trying his hardest to hold back the feeling of nausea that swept over him once more, then stood up, wiping his tears.

Mustang was right. He had to get a grip or he would never make it out there. He would never return to Al or Winry.

Ed staggered away, leaving behind the pain of murder which would slowly fade to numbness

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><p><strong>Aaaahhhhh I hate how this turned out! Someone help me PLEASE! I'm terrible at action and gore scenes! anyway, please Rate and Review! happy happy happy...<strong>


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